I’m so annoyed I lost my last post.
Well, at least I got a lot out.
So, this one will be shorter because I’m supposed to be going on a date with DH, but it’s almost 7…don’t think I’m getting my movie…
Anyhow… I had been talking about recovery.
I feel so much more free and ‘lighter’ now that I’m doing better with my eating disorder. I’m not afraid to be around food, or go out to dinner (if we ever get there..) or get together with friends. I’m much better at listening to my body and being mindful.
It reminds me of “You have no power over me” From the Labyrinth movie…. Maybe I’m dating myself..oh well.
But it’s really how I feel now. My weaknesses were chips, cheese and my parents’ homemade sausage. I don’t remember the last time I polished off a whole bag of chips. And my parents gave me a bunch of sausage last week and I’ve only had half a piece so far.
I can keep all of that stuff in the house now. And if I want it, I eat it. And I stop when I’m full. Most of the time… the odd time I still relapse…but I don’t beat myself up over it.
It’s a similar feeling/relief to when I stopped smoking. It was good, it was positive, it felt great. And I’m not just saying that. My original post said it much more eloquently, but now I’m getting tired of writing.
One day at a time is all we can do. Food isn’t a source of stress for me anymore. I don’t have to think about it or worry about it. I eventually want to get to eating healthier and exercising more, and I’m slowly on my way. I just know that I can’t rush it. I have to let my mind get healthy and be happy before I can take care of everything else, like my body and everyone else who relies on me.
I’m getting there…day by day.